I sit in the food court at Euston station, it’s very loud, lots of people, lots of movement, lots of talking: one big loud murmur. “Eat here or take away?” Chairs scraping across the floor. “Do you want anything to eat?” “When does your train leave?” “Next please.” A woman asks me, “Are these seats taken?” I say “No” but want to say “I wish to sit alone.” I don’t say it but I’m sure there is an unwelcome look on my white face as I write in my notebook and drink my (very bad) coffee. I wonder if the black woman who sits at my table to eat her lunch dislikes white people. “Are we always this unfriendly to her?” I wonder. “I hope not.” I try to soften my demeaner as I close my notebook and eat my lunch. I dislike my positioning of her as an other, someone ‘different’, but how do I change that? I know so few black people and rarely interact with them. I like the black security guard at my work and regularly talk to him but this and the few others I know are not enough to stop my feelings of ‘those’ people who remain ‘other’ while I see ‘them’ as ‘them’. She eats and leaves. If she had been white, would I have felt so insecure about coming across as unfriendly? Would her race have even entered my mind?
